I am not a blogger by any stretch. I don’t even really like to read blogs because I can’t sit still long enough to do it. I’m also not a writer. I can spell with the best of them (which makes me an anomaly in the engineering world) and Andi usually has to proof everything for me, paying special attention to grammar and punctuation. Hell, if you send me an email and it is too long, I might not even read it. (the indicator for this is the size of the scroll bar on the side of the screen) However, Andi invited me to be a guest blogger. So, I decided to do a top 5 sort of thing regarding the swim meet we took Sarah Kate to this past weekend. Now, I like to people watch but after several hours in close quarters with the same couple hundred people I could tell you who had tattoos and where, where the kid that talked to himself sat and what team he was on, what the parent behind us brought her girls for snacks, which sports fans identified themselves as such and where they sat, what the snack bar was selling based on what I saw people walking by eating, and…well, you get the picture. We are laid back sports parents. The people at this meet were not. By any stretch. Here is my top 5 list of “You might be a crazy fanatical swimming sports parent if” list.
#5 – If your team has their own spot in the natatorium 80 miles from your home pool, as if it were your pew in church on Sunday.
#4 – If you are giving your 9 year old caffeine laced GU for a 50 yard (aka 45 second or less) “endurance” event.
#3 – If you obviously could not perform yourself what you are screaming at your kid to perform.
#2 – If you brought a 60 person tent complete with portable propane heaters and windows that took 6 engineers to erect.
#1 – If your Body Mass Index is higher than your best ever ACT score, yet you insist on yelling and demonstrating stroke technique advice from the side of the pool and have gotten your pants wet in the process.
Disclaimer Added by Andi: In no way do we wish to indicate that all (or even most) of the parents at the swim meet were as described above. However, Mr. Andi is not making this stuff up. This post is based on our real-life experience. Team names omitted to protect the innocent (i.e., the kids of these nutcases).