Sorta Crunchy

cloth diapers

Earlier this week, I dropped a bomb on Mr. Andi. I decided to talk to him about the possibility of trying out a Diva Cup, and wanted his opinion. He stared at me blankly, then burst out laughing, “That’s like me saying, ‘Hey, I’ve decided that we should start eating armadillo for dinner, and since I saw one down the street the other day, I’m going to take my bow and go shoot that one for us to try.'” He then walked to the pantry, pulled out the Nature Valley variety pack, and pointed to two words on the box:

Crunchy Granola.

I was not amused. However, I got the point. For the past several years, for no apparent reason, I’ve been slowly progressing down the road to Crunchy Granola Mom, despite my deep-seated doubt in global warming and my heavily right-leaning Republican tendencies. So today, Dear Blog Reader, you have the opportunity to serve as a member of the jury in the Case Against Andi for Maternal Crunchiness.

First, Mr. Andi’s crunchy evidence against me:

  • Exhibit A: I haven’t purchased paper plates or napkins in years, and use paper towels only sparingly. We use cloth instead.
  • Exhibit B: I made baby food for both Nathan and Sarah Kate.
  • Exhibit C: I haven’t colored my hair since 2008, even though I inherited my dad’s prematurely gray locks, and I also tried going shampoo-free.
  • Exhibit D: I heart reusable grocery bags.
  • Exhibit E: We have a reel lawn mower for our yard (yes, you can still buy those – the ones without an engine).
  • Exhibit F: Nathan wears cloth diapers exclusively.
  • Exhibit G: I’m only days away from ordering a Diva Cup.
  • Exhibit H: I’ve been doing a lot of research into both vegetarian and vegan diets.

Sounds pretty crunchy, right? But not so fast, dear friends…the defense has a few facts of her own to put forth to the jury:

  • Counterpoint to Exhibits A, B, and F: I’m cheap. Grab a few bags of frozen veggies, steam them, throw them in the Rocket Blender, and freeze in an ice cube tray. Voila`! And have you priced a pack of Pampers lately? C’mon!
  • Counterpoint to Exhibit C: In addition to cheap, I’m also lazy. Having someone else color your hair is expensive, and doing it yourself is a pain in the butt. Plus, I think my gray hair is actually kinda cool and makes me look like I’m confident in my appearance (although, of course, I’m not). And that no-shampoo thing? It lasted one week. One really long and disgusting week.
  • Counterpoint to Exhibit D: Plastic grocery bags are the spawn of Satan. All of your groceries fall out in the trunk of the car and roll around like West Highland Terriers on crack. Reusable bags hold more and stand up straight.
  • Counterpoint to Exhibit E: I don’t mow. That one’s all Mr. Andi.
  • Counterpoint to Exhibit G: I’ll try to keep my PG rating and just say that Tampax are for younger gals, and the other disposable alternative doesn’t work well while running. Enough said.
  • Counterpoint to Exhibit H: Just because I’m reading about it doesn’t mean I’m going to do it. There’s no way I’m giving up cheese. Or bacon. Or Blue Bell ice cream. Just sayin’.

And in case you were wondering, I don’t recycle, compost, co-sleep, or homeschool, and my attempts at breastfeeding my two children lasted weeks, not months.

The defense rests.

What say you? Am I crunchy?


  1. says

    Honestly? I would see it as you’re at a tipping point. You could go either way, or just stay how you are. If you started making your own soap or something. Then I would say yes. Then again I may not be the best judge since I myself, am vegetarian (have been vegan), don’t really use paper products, use organic laundry soap…..
    I have stories I could tell you, but I’ll save it for off blog conversation.

  2. Wren says

    I think you’re crunchier than you want to admit. :-)

    Like you, in my house, paper is out as much as possible (no paper plates, cloth napkins, sparing use of PT); we have our own garden to avoid paying over-the-top veggie prices (and are freezing a LOT of it for winter); don’t have the reel mower any more (not good for 15.5 acres), but are letting the majority of it grow wild and are enjoying the wildlife in it; have also considered the Diva Cup (honestly not sure why I haven’t gotten one– have known @ them for years and years…).

    Unlike you, I compost and recycle (have less than 1 bag of trash a week, considering getting rid of trash service!), and I’m pretty stinkin’ liberal. Beyond Democrats liberal. (Really, they’re just left-leaning Republicans, but that’s another blog.) :-)

    I don’t think Mr. Andi is the one to consult about the Diva cup, and I don’t think it suggests that you’re goin’ all hippie on us, either. :-) I’ll bet you know some friends who have them, but like one reviewer on Amazon said, this– “women’s issues”– is still a “taboo” subject in this country for some bizarre reason (not in others if you travel about). I’ll check with my British side of the family and see what they say/reviews/opinions, etc…

    Off to do a workshop with the Women’s Studies department (no joke!!!)….

  3. Erin Schneider says

    You know when we talk to sorority women about the reasons why people volunteer- some people do it because it makes them feel good, some do it for the appreciation and praise, others because the cause means a lot to them, others as a resume builder…no matter the motives behind their decision a volunteer is a volunteer. Andi, my dear, crunchy granola is crunchy granola no matter the motives. 😉 Cheers to you for making decisions that, whatever the motives, are making the world a better place! Love, a socialist hippy sister.

  4. says

    You definitely veer toward the crunchy side of things. :) But that’s so ok!

    I will say, when it comes to the Diva Cup, I have one, and did a lot of reading after struggling with it, and there are other cups out there. Know that if the Diva doesn’t work for you (because it can be one of the stiffer cups out there) you can find others. I’d suggest checking out the menstrual cup website (you should be able to get it from google but I can’t do it from work right now) and do some reading on what other people say. I currently use Instead Cups, which are disposable and say they can’t be reused but – they can.

  5. says

    Maybe just a little but hey you and Mr. Andi could always compromise I’m not married but I’ve heard that’s what marriage is all about

  6. Adrienne K says

    I’m with you on a good number of these issues overall. I’ve done B, D & F. Although I gave up the dream with cloth with my youngest and was more disposable than cloth with my middle because of the lazy factor. Same with the homemade baby food – lazyness won out. But you don’t have on there breastfeeding until they were drinking cows milk. Which I also attribute to cheapness and lazyness.

    But I couldn’t do a diva cup. I get the need, but I couldn’t do it.

    And I’m WAY too lazy to go vegetarian or vegan. WAY. And then there’s the whole Bacon and Lamb and Eggs and Cheese thing… No way. Can’t do it.

  7. says

    I have a number of Christian friends, some Republican, some not, some whatever, and they’re all working towards this crunchier momma thing.

    Here’s the thing:
    You don’t have to be of any particular religious or political persuasion to live in a way that shows respect for creation. If you take the bible literally, even then, how much more of a reason to live in such a way that shows you would not want to abuse that which was created?

    If you reread the O/T it is very “crunchy”. It is very much along the lines of being stewards of the earth.

    So crunch away!

    Ps I Tried Diva Cups and was not loving them. Do more research, there are other options. In fact, I know some women who find a small sea sponge is perfect and more comfortable :)

  8. says

    A little crunch isn’t so bad…
    I’ve tried a few of the things you listed, and I’m not totally sure I can explain why for most of them –
    Even MADE my son’s cloth diapers (that started while I was bored and on bedrest)… but that may be because I like to sew as a hobby.
    I am a little sad to say that I have to let go of this one a bit as we try to manage my son’s CP. He just got a DMO, which, unfortunately, is too tight around his legs with the clothies. :( but I still try to use them first thing in the morning and last at night.

    oh – and I say to go ahead and use the cup – I’ve used Instead and L-O-V-E it.

  9. says

    Diva cups rock. Cruchyism need not be part of the equation. To wit: i’m a diva cup fanatic who uses sposies, paper towels and has even brought home take out in styrofoam more than once (the horror). And if that weren’t enough proof, I have a girlfriend with fake boobs who uses one.

    Just get one already. They are the bestest thing ever.


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